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Trailer Park In The Neighborhood www.twobarkingdogs.com
One night while my wife was working late, I went down to a friend's apartment. His name was Harry. While at his apartment he showed me his new toys, a scanner and digital camera. This was a few years ago and it was a big deal to get these items. Anyway, while sitting around having a few beers, we came up with a brilliant idea. Just like Beavis and Butthead.
There's this one person we knew, Bennett that lived up in peanut-butter hill. Why the name ? That's all you can afford to eat when you live in that expensive neighborhood. Peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches. Anyway, Harry and I decided to take a drive up to peanut-butter hill. Our plan was to take a picture of a house that was for sale near Bennett's house. Then scan in a newspaper article and re-word it saying that a half-way house for crack addicts and pedophiles will be opened in the peanut-butter hill area. Of course, the picture we will show is the house that's for sale by Bennett's house. Then we'll print out the article and leave it on Bennett's desk.
We drove up to peanut-butter hill neighborhood and looked around. Guess what! No houses for sale. Talk about a slap in the face. After driving around for a bit with my old 78' caddy that got 15 miles to a quart of oil, we got even a better idea or else we were getting stoned off the fumes. While looking at Bennett's house, we see that there's a open field in the backyard with space on the left side of his house for a road. A beautiful place for a 65 unit trailer park where the underprivileged can mingle with the rich.
We head as quickly as possible back to Harry's apartment. We picked up a "local" section of the paper and low and behold. It was an article how the county is working with the underprivileged in low income housing. A sign from god. We only had to slightly modify the article.
We scanned it in and applied our magic touch. We re-worded the article such that the property behind Glendale drive (the very short street that Bennett lives on) was being re-zoned for a 65 unit trailer park. Access to the trailer park was from Glendale drive (only way to get there was by Bennett's house). We mentioned that a liquor store and Laundromat has been granted building permits in the area and will shortly start construction. After that we didn't have to re-word the rest of the article. We left in sections like how Habitat of Humanity applauds this decision and that the county needs more low income housing. After we got done, we printed out the new article and then took into work Saturday and copied in expanded mode so it look like someone just photocopied a newspaper article. We added that "FYI" for that finishing touch. Then we left it on Bennett's desk so he can see it bright and early Monday morning. He came in earlier than we did so we needed to make sure he had no idea who dropped this off.
Monday morning rolls around and I see a panicky and upset Bennett. As soon as he seen the article he was calling the neighbors to see if they knew anything about this or read it in the newspaper. No one has but no one was willing to think that the village government would never re-zone without notifying the people. As I talked to Bennett a few of our fellow co-workers stopped by and read the article. I remember one guy from Kentucky who remarked as he looked at the article. His response was, "Whew! That's even considered big in Kentucky!". After that statement I decided to leave Bennett alone for an hour. I couldn't watch anyone in despair like that. That guy just crumbled.
I came back an hour later and Bennett is telling me that his wife will leave him if they don't move out of the neighborhood. Some of the neighbors have called their lawyers. One neighbor talked about getting a gun to protect his family. Yet know one seem to be able to find that newspaper article or get any confirmation from the village office. At that point I felt that Bennett was tormented enough. So I told him it was all a joke. Now he can enter the 2nd phase of his treatment and that's telling all his neighbors that this was a joke so his neighbors can think of him as a jack ass. But one thing he did find out and it scares him and his neighbors. The property is zoned for agriculture which means the owners can put a trailer park on it!
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